08-027
You may
have already seen that e-mail making the rounds proclaiming “2000 uses for
WD-40.” I was moved that someone would have taken the time to discover all these
uses, let alone type them out.
At
first glance you might think some of these ideas aren’t very practical. You
would be right. Here are a few of the more intriguing ones, along with a
scenario I pictured for each:
CLEANS
VACUUM CLEANER DIALS
“So
glad you could stop by for a cup of coffee, Kate.”
“Thanks
for inviting me, Sandra. You certainly have a lovely….oh, my.”
“What’s
wrong?”
“It’s
your carpet. I don’t like to say it, Sandra, but it looks as if it hasn’t been
vacuumed since the Reagan administration.”
“First
or second term?”
“The
fact is, Sandra, your carpet needs help.”
“I
don’t understand it, Kate! I’m certain the dirt-toleration dial on my vacuum
cleaner is set to Low.”
“And
yet it’s difficult to know for certain when the dial is so filthy. Let’s clean
it off using my purse-sized bottle of WD-40 and take a look.”
“Oh, I’m so embarrassed, Kate! Looks like the dirt toleration dial was actually
set to Extra-High. What would I do without friends like you?”
“Probably
even less housework than you do already.”
LUBRICATES
WHEELS OF HOMEMADE MONORAIL SYSTEMS
“Billy!
BILLY! Get down here!”
“Sorry,
Mom.”
“I’ve
been calling you down to dinner for nearly ten minutes, Billy. What took so
long?”
“I had
to walk down the stairs, Mom.”
“Walk? What
about our homemade monorail system?”
“No go,
Mom--it’s jammed.”
“Oh, no.
Guess this means you can’t take out the trash tonight.”
“Not if
I can’t get this thing running.”
“Wait a
minute, Billy--what if we tried some WD-40?”
“I’ll
try it….hey, it works! Good thinking, Mom!”
“Thanks,
Billy. Now go ahead and set the table; I’ll be back after I ride over to the
fridge and get the Worcestershire sauce.”
LUBRICATES
FLAG ON MAILBOX
“Bob,
did you mail the payment for my subscription to ‘The WD-40 Enthusiast?’”
“I
couldn’t, Sarah.”
“Why
not?”
“The
mailbox flag--it’s sticking again. I can’t ask the mail carrier to endure that
awful squeak when he pushes the flag down…I just can’t.”
“Well,
of course not, Bob, we’re not monsters. But what are we going to do?”
“WD-40--that’s
what. Watch this...”
“Incredible!
Now the flag moves up and down with nary a peep!”
“Mail
away, Sarah. And in the future, I know who won’t keep asking whether your
subscription is worth the price!”
The
list goes on: shines outdoor sculptures, protects bayonets from rust while
stored in sheaths, protects metal bars on glockenspiels…
I think
we can all rest easier knowing that, in the midst of life’s little dramas,
WD-40 will be there to help. In fact, I think I’ll run down to the store and
get a few extra cans. Just as soon as I get my homemade monorail system up and
running.