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Unblocking the Block
In my new
book on overcoming writer’s block,(which will be released as soon as I figure
out how to fill three hundred pages,) I detail the secret techniques that I
have used for well over five minutes. In
the meantime, however, here are some tips to get you back on track.
The first
thing I suggest is that you write what you know. If you don’t know anything, write something else.
Begin
each day by reading what you wrote yesterday.
This is very beneficial, as it will either remind you how talented you
are, or that you might be better off as a hat salesman.
Affirmations
are always useful. Repeat,“I am a great
writer,” to yourself over and over again.
Try to believe it even though you’ve been rejected three hundred and
four times with your hilariously funny piece on warts.
Self-esteem
is all-important. Think of yourself as
a damn good author, even though the extent of your literary output is “get eggs, milk and cheese.”
If after
several hours of work all you’ve written are two semi-colons and a comma, be
proud of your accomplishment. Just don’t spend too much time trying to market
it.
Do
something different. Write the beginning
last and the ending first. Just keep in
mind that you editor may get irritated when he has to read your work standing
on his head.
To
enhance the functioning of your creative brain, use yoga while you write. Twist your body so that your right side is
toward the computer. Then with your
left hand reach over and operate the mouse as you cross your legs together. Use your experiences to write a tell-all
book about the life of a pretzel.
Be open
to criticism. If someone informs you
that your story put them to sleep, don’t feel bad -- even though it is only
nine words long.
Sometimes
it helps to involve the simplicity of a child’s mind. Find a three year old and tell him your
story. If he says you’re work is highly
derivative of War and Peace and The Great Gatsby, take away his pampers.
Visualize
your career. There are three steps to
this. 1) See yourself being successful
as a writer. 2) Notice where you are
now. 3) Weep.
If your
confidence is shaky, ask someone very dumb to read your work. Just be aware that “liked dem words,” may not
be the kind of endorsement you want on the back cover of your novel.
It often
helps to get up in the morning and write down the first words that come to
mind. You never know, “must pea” may be
the coffee table book of the decade.
Remember
writing that you find the most fun will connect with your readers best. Even if it’s about tuna in a can that yearns
to be set free.
Hope
these pearls of wisdom have helped you move your writing forward. If not, remember, they’re always looking for
a good hat salesman.